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As a result of my new toy (more on that later), I have had to interact with a lot of car fluids recently. So now that I'm high on brake cleaner, I would like to share with you some of my insights on this subject:

All car fluids appear to adhere to 3 basic design principles:

  1. Performs the intended function

  2. Extremely toxic

  3. Delicious
For example, coolant? Coolant has a sweet taste that animals find irresistable. Upon consuming it, they have mild to severe brain damage, and then die.

Brake fluid? A cool, refreshing smell with light, minty hints. But it's a severe skin irritant, and it causes kidney damage.

Brake cleaner? Smells like whip cream propellant. Causes blindness.

Engine oil? Smooth, pleasing texture, light, earthy smell. Stays in the environment for centuries without breaking down. Kills fish, poisons animals. Cannot be disposed of in landfills, must be accumulated in tanks and held indefinitely.

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