Blog

Real Life Drama

April 22, 2006

This is a story of true-life drama, as this weekend we pitted two natural enemies against each other, The Brush Bandit versus an 80 foot tall palm tree.

What is a Brush Bandit?

The brush bandit is a trailer that can be towed behind a truck. On the fender of the trailer is the adorable raccoon character pictured above, and in the bed of the trailer are a series of shredding, chipping, and crushing blades and wheels. It looks like this:

Maybe to you this sounds like a basic piece of gardening equipment. Maybe you even think that the little raccoon is cute and playful. But a closer look at the Brush Bandit reveals that it is actually the most dangerous thing ever created by the human race. I have never in my life seen so many warning stickers on a single object:

At the risk of spoiling the story for you, I may as well reveal now that the palm tree fails to survive the Brush Bandit. The palm tree was able to mount a posthumous attack by clogging the machine for about an hour, but ultimately it was, inevitably, defeated. The men commanding the Brush Bandit achieved their victory in 3 basic steps:

Step 1: Tie Rope Around Tree

Step 2: Cut and Pull Down Tree

Step 3: Convert Tree into Fine Powder

We managed to repair the (extremely crappy) fence in front of our house today, so the dreaded palm tree is now officially gone from our lives.

The End.

(If you want to know what the palm tree did to us that made us want to invoke upon it the wrath of the Brush Bandit, the answer is that it was shoving our fence down. If it had been inside or outside of our property, we would have left it alone. But the fence was there first, and we're not allowed to move the fence, so the tree had to go. Sorry.)

Posted by rus at 10:10 PM

Comments

This posting deserves an award. I'm not sure which award though. Either a literary, photo-journalism or an epa award.

Posted by: Jeremy at April 25, 2006 11:03 AM

Don't be silly, it's just a tree falling down. But you were blinded by the drama of it all--- Just like at the Oscars.

Posted by: Rus at April 25, 2006 06:50 PM

I really want Step 3 to be retrieving the car from under the tree.

Posted by: Darcy at April 26, 2006 01:40 PM

Wow. Beware: The trees wil unite... all shredders will be clogged for multiple hours.

Posted by: EatsLeaves at April 29, 2006 06:25 AM

YOU KILLED THE PALM TREE YOU OGRES!!!!! JUST MAKE THE TREE PART OF THE FENCE!!!! 50 YEARS GONE ON A FLASH (WELL - A FEW HOURS, BUT YOU GET MY DRIFT!)

Posted by: Mom at April 29, 2006 03:07 PM

If a tree falls down in the middle of suburbia, and no one is around to blog it, does it still make a sound? :)

Posted by: Andre at May 1, 2006 09:46 AM