It's my last night here in Israel, and I'm not sure I'm going to make it.

• Everything I eat or drink turns my guts inside out except Coke


• All I can find to eat near my hotel is (ironically) American fast food


• I haven't been within 5000 miles of a good burrito in 2 weeks


• My taxi drivers think it's amusing to almost crash and die 50 times during a brief drive


• Everyone wants to know what I think of Israeli girls, and I'm sick of the question


• I am powerless against the Hotel's cleaning staff


• The doors at Mercury are all glass, and I walk into them and hurt my nose


• I have meetings with people all the time, but most of the conference room names are in Hebrew


• My kingdom for a shitty Dell QuietKey 101 with a USB adapter


• Everyone here speaks English words, but they often don't know what they are saying


• In particular, even some of the fluent English speakers here confuse the days of the week, so when they say "Friday", you just don't know what they really mean


• I'd like to go someplace where carrying a backpack is not a crime


• What is the sticky black shit all over the beach? (Or did I maybe answer my own question?)


• I'm going to die if I can't drive a car soon


• If my 12 hour flight is going to crash, I only hope that it does so NEAR THE BEGINNING of the flight.