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I want my 2 seconds back

I don't get a newspaper.

One of the many benefits of not reading the paper is that I do not have to read Family Circus in the comics section. But when I visit my mom, I do sometimes glance past it in her paper, thus inadvertently reading it.

And the thing is that even though it only takes 2 seconds to read, I am always sorry. It's just the worst "comic" ever, who could possibly enjoy it.


Taurus Lung

Another year, another trip to back East, another bought of driving my poor, apparently impoverished mother's crappy 12 year old Ford Taurus around, dealing with whatever it's affliction is this time.

This year we have an engine block (with 213,000 miles!) that leaks oil onto the exhaust manifold at a rate of approximately 1 quart every 250 miles. The oil smoke is then sucked directly into the cabin, where it accumulates in a greasy film on the windshield, steering wheel, and in my lungs.

This isn't so bad when you can have the windows down, but since it's 23 degrees out, this is less of an option. So after only day 2 of driving it, I have already developed a kind of gross, liquid-sounding cough that I've decided to call "Taurus Lung".

Can we all please work together to shame her into buying a new goddamned car?

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